Author: Nico and Ethel
Pairing: RFA/RFA
Rating: Don't read
Summary: Nico and Ethel give a more- mature and realistic commentary about the pairings while trying to save face (unsuccessfully, likely)
Beta: No beta, we die like our dignity
A/N: So, we returned after years and years of growth and suppressing the memories of this blog, and thought writing part 3 might give us some closure, clear our consciences (maybe, sorta, unlikely)
Prologue
Nico: So, we are here-
Jumin: You two again?!
Yoosung *has a panic attack*
Nico: ...
Ethel: No, honestly fair enough
Prologue (part 2)
Nico: I would like to start by apologizing for- everything?
Jaehee: I am not going to lie to you, an apology is not going to cut it
Zen: Make up for the years of therapy...
Saeran: And trauma
Nico: ... I mean, yeah. A little too little, a little too late but- well, no but
Ethel: In our defense we were dumb barely teenagers
Seven: Oh god they were teenagers
Ethel: Yeah, somehow that made the non-consensual parts not even be the worst parts about it
Nico: And on that happy note-
Ethel: "happy note"
Nico: -some, information about this fic. This time we aren't forcing everyone present to state opinions, but are rather trying to have, like, actually mature conversation about these possible ships
Ethel: Feels really weird to be writing like this again. Honestly, also about this again
Yoosung/Zen
Nico: Now, to prove that we have, in fact, matured and have like, actual mature adult opinions about stuff-
Ethel: I wonder if the characters will also have actual mature adult opinions about these things- or be mature adults for that matter
Nico: Point. But, to prove my point, I will start by maturely pointing out, like the mature person I am, that Yoosung and Zen, while ultimately having enough things in common that their relationship could work -and honestly would work if they both put in the work- neither is likely to want to put in said effort to bridge the gap between their different goals and priorities in life. And since their preferred lifestyles don't necessarily mash very well, or at all, without the work, they are, as a romantic pair, unlikely to work
Ethel: Your mature adult brain is definitely braining so brainily. Good job, dearie. Either way, I do agree, though it would be hilarious to watch them struggle with figuring out their differences from an outside perspective. And they wouldn't be that unlikely even, funnily enough, because I feel like Zen would be quite good at communicating and Yoosung would likely try to match that since otherwise he'll just have FOMO.
Jumin: Fomo?
Seven: Fear of missing out, of course~
Nico: Got a point there. They would probably have good enough communication system going on that they could function well as roommates, it's just-
Ethel: -the functionality breaks down if they try to introduce romance into the function.
Nico: Yeah.
Zen: First of all, I'm surprised how civil this all is.
Ethel: ... Fair.
Yoosung: Yeah, I totally expected the terror twins to be, y'know, terroring
Nico: Oh God
Ethel, burying her face in her hands: Please do not bring up our shameful past.
Zen: Anyway, you bring up surprisingly good points, and I do think of Yoosung as a good friend
Yoosung: And I think Zen's a good friend too!
Zen: I don't think I would want him as a roommate though?
Yoosung: ... You could benefit from having someone around to feed you.
Zen: I eat!
Yoosung: Overly healthy boring stuff and beer!
Ethel: Don't forget about the cigarettes. Really, cigarettes and beer kind of ruin that attempt of yours at being healthy, like, you are aware of that, right?
Zen: I will not stand here and be lectured by someone who thought writing extremely illegal things on so many levels happen would be a good and funny idea!
Ethel: Then sit down, I guess?
Yoosung/Jaehee
Nico: With more maturity, experience, and several sexual awakenings comes understanding. The heteronormativity is no longer blinding us, we are actually reading the subtext and so we can now finally say-
Ethel: Jaehee is baehee is gayhee
Jaehee: ...
Seven: So bae means-
Jaehee: I am aware of the slang
Ethel: Like, as a lesbian-
Saeran: You? A lesbian? Well that's news to me.
Ethel: As I was saying, as a lesbian, Jaehee is honestly so lesbian-coded and I love that for her.
Nico: And honestly even if she wasn't totally-likely woman preferring, I don't think Yoosung and Jaehee could survive as roommates because of their different work ethics for starters
Yoosung: ... Fair enough
Yoosung/Jumin
Ethel: Oh, goodness, no. I still dislike Jumin. I might not be the biggest fan of Yoosung anymore despite my younger self's... misunderstandings - she was suffering from a very severe case of compulsory heterosexuality -, but his mostly quite sweet self does not deserve Jumin. He's a horrible boss, and way too rich as well, and we should feed the rich to the orcas. Actually, he could be in oceangate pt. 3, our annual tradition of sacrificing rich assholes to Poseidon. But also, Jumin is far too focused on himself and his cat to ever really have the emotional availability for another human being, let alone for a romantic relationship of any kind.
Nico: All valid points. But also, I can see the appeal of this ship because I read the wrong kind of fics during my free time.
Ethel: - We know -
Nico: Just, the inherent entertainment and writing potential between two people who match on so many points. Like we have someone so very eager to please, and someone very willing to be, well, pleased. Someone who's love language is likely and largely spoiling others and showering them with gifts, paired with someone who would love to be on the receiving end of all that. Someone with just enough sadism to satisfy someone with just a little bit masochism in them. Someone who wants to follow rather than lead, and someone willing and wanting to take control. Someone-
Jumin: ...
Yoosung: ...
Jumin: You what?
Yoosung: Which one are you talking to?
Jumin: Both. Either.
Ethel: Do not include me with whatever that just was right there, thank you very much.
Yoosung/Seven
Nico: I think this is the first ship we have come across that could actually work as a romantic relationship? With shared hobbies, priorities, goals and values, they have a solid ground to build on. Especially their shared understanding about the importance of family and realities of depression would help them go a long way. And they are both the kind of people willing to put in the effort to make things work should they want to. They have also demonstrated ability to joke around together and support one another when things get hard and messy.
Ethel: Also, they are both ridiculously messy, both literally and emotionally. If the butts match...
Yoosung: Hey!
Seven: Nice Batman reference you got there, terror twin no. 2
Ethel: Anyways, they could work. Both of them honestly seem to have surprisingly high EQs, so they genuinely wouldn't end up driving each other into therapy because they're driving each other insane, unlike some others out of these pairings *cough cough* looking at Jaehee/Jumin or Zen/Jumin *cough cough*, so I do agree.
Seven: I think we are supposed two give our two cents about these pairings too, yeah?
Yoosung: You don't have to. Really.
Seven: But think about the readers! Think about all the three people who will stumble into this fic and read this far! No, I will have to do my part, sacrifice my sanity to-
Yoosung: ... There are HBCs in this for me, right? And a built in tech support and LoLoL playing buddy... So why not?
Seven: ... Steal my thunder much?
Nico: Dramatic much?
Ethel: Like you we aren't.
Yoosung/V
Nico: There- well, we haven't really established what kind of continuity these ships would take place in, but assuming these take place anywhere near or around the main games- there is just too much bad blood, too much bad history and too many hurt feelings. Like, I believe 100% that they can rebuild their friendship but even that is going to be, just, forever shadowed by the past
Ethel: Would be funny though
Yoosung: ...
V: I would also like to point out that I am very unlikely to find someone I once thought of as a family member attractive in a romantic sense
Yoosung: ... You know what, what he said
Ethel: Your surname is even so common you wouldn't even need to change it if you were to get married. *laughs* But yeah, no, that is fair. Would still be funny, gotta say, and I mostly do things for shits and giggles at this point. I need the entertainment.
Yoosung/Rika
Ethel: Yeah, all incest and incest-passing ships are going to be an immediate "no" from everyone involved, so we will not be discussing them further
Yoosung/Saeran
Nico: There is no particular reason why they shouldn't work - once Saeran gets the need he desperately needs for his mental health issues, obviously - but there is no particular reason why they should work either, I think. Frankly speaking we don't get enough time with Saeran when he isn't brainwashed to really work out what his personality is really like to make definite judgements one way or another, especially since the small glimpses we get of him after some healing are sometimes radically different
Yoosung: I think you guys are forgetting about the whole "I got kidnapped and collared"- thing completely here!
Ethel: No, I just thought we'd let you keep your dignity and not mention it because if I have to be honest, you seemed to enjoy that collar a little bit too much for someone who was kidnapped and tortured. I think you're the one who'd prefer forgetting about it, hun.
Yoosung: ...
Ethel: That's what I thought. And honestly, I doubt they'd work that well. Their personalities don't really mesh together well, there is the trauma, there is more trauma, and also, Saeran should really, truly focus on being in therapy first for the next foreseeable future, maybe learn to love himself first even and everything. Perhaps they could work as friends, but I'd say there are too many walking and talking red flags involved in these two actually getting together, sadly. For hurt/comfort fics, or just pure angst fics, however...
Nico: Ignoring the last part, the friendship thing is not only possible but kind of likely, I think? With Yoosung being Seven's maybe closest friend I think it's very unlikely they wouldn't end up becoming friends along the way, especially since by that point they would likely put in the effort, if for no other reason then because of Seven
Zen/Jaehee
Nico: Since we have already established how very lesbian coded Jaehee is, let's discuss the next logical point; friendship. Both Jaehee and Zen clearly already respect one another and want the best for one another, so really when - not if, when - Jaehee quits working for Jumin and gets the time to actually focus on herself, there is pretty much no reason why they wouldn't become close friends
Ethel: For sure! Jaehee might even be able to help Zen slow down with his addictions, and let's call them what they are, addictions. No one who isn't addicted smokes or drinks that much, you absolute fucking himbo.
Zen: Based on your tone, I don't know whether I should take that as an insult or as a compliment.
Ethel: Well don't overthink it, hun, you'll hurt your pretty head, I doubt it's had a single thought for the past five years. It could be beneficial for Jaehee too, though, she needs the support and the person to vent to about Jumin once she musters up the strength and courage to leave, and I have no doubts about how happy Zen would be about getting to do just that. Wine and venting kind of a hang-out, I think, and honestly, Zen is kind of really bi or gay coded too, now that I'm thinking about. Goodness the comphet was serious 7 years ago. Literally the way Jaehee makes it so obvious that she's a fan of Zen's just sounds like her everyday attempt at declaring she's so totally straight because she does in fact think about a man and likes him so totally much even though she also, at every turn, makes it as clear as possible that it's not that she'd date him. Like, the comphet was so strong in everyone here.
Nico: Preaching to the choir, love, preaching to the choir
Zen/Jumin
Ethel: Oh goodness, no. But also kind of yes. As said, Zen is ridiculously queer-coded now that I'm not a dumb teenager thinking I need to be attracted to men just because society is convinced that's how life should work. And the whole enemies-to-reluctant friends-to-lovers pipeline is so much fun every time, that's exactly why it's so shipped. And it is fun! Like, I think Jumin might even survive without a cat if he makes Zen wear some cat ears, a tail, even paws... And Zen couldn't complain about his allergies like that.
Jumin: I would never replace my precious Elizabeth the 3rd with Zen!
Ethel: Yeah, well, that wasn't the idea or the suggestion, now was it, genius? Elly is going to die of old age one day because death will claim its own every time, and not even your money can truly slow down the cycle of life. You do spoil her, however, and she kind of deserves that for having had to be around you for this long, so you can have her until then and then you figure out your shit and the sexual tension that could be cut with a butter knife with absolutely no problems afterwards. It's not that difficult of a concept, really.
Zen: I'd never wear cat ears, or a tail, especially for that jerk of a Trust Fund fucker, so that's some wild and interesting dreams you've made there. Ew.
Nico: Ah, how the tables turn. Or, in other words, do not include me with whatever that just was right there, thank you very much.
Zen: What? I mean, not that I want you to ship us or whatever but I thought you would be the one to, well, ship us
Nico: I mean njah
Jumin: Really?
Nico: Sometimes the vibe just doesn't vibe, dude
Zen/Seven
Nico: Talking about the vibe not vibing, I think it is the problem with this one. Their lifestyles and goals don't really match, their work ethics and humor don't mesh that well-
Seven: Vibe check failed
Ethel: Vibe check failed
Nico: Vibe check failed
Zen: ... Vibe check failed?
Ethel: Vibe check failed.
Zen/V
Ethel: I don't know, this just honestly feels a little boring? Like, I cannot imagine anything interesting or fun happening in this ship. On one hand, that is the exact beauty of it, it would make things really easy to write because there's basically no canon interaction or basis to go off of, but on the other hand, eh. I would be bored out of my mind writing or reading about this, and I am just thinking about it.
Zen: Okay, well, I would like to think that any relationship I enter in would have at least a little bit of spark in it. Especially if it's with my honorary stalker
V: A moniker I claim with both pride and shame, believe me
Nico: Yeah, but see, even that exchange just reeks of boring. Like, it's just so innately lacking of sexual chemistry.
Ethel: I am dying of boredom here. You guys have nothing going on for yourselves even if you try really hard.
Zen: I feel like that was pointed.
Ethel: Good.
Zen/Rika
Nico: Honestly Rika is in pretty much same place as Saeran in a sense that she should very much focus on just recovering, getting better and building relationships other than romantic kind. And although it is bit of a fun thought exercise to imagine what might have happened if Rika had tried to build co-dependent relationship with Zen instead of V, this also just reeks of boring.
Ethel: Do not forget about the abusiveness and the toxicity of this - and anything with her, honestly - because it's a lot. I'm pretty sure she needs inpatient care, actually. She needs so, so much of it, goodness gracious. Possibly prison, too, like, there was the whole cult issue, blinding someone, mind control, drugs, kidnapping, bombs, abuse of minors, probably drugging a minor...
Rika: I am perfectly fine, though, you don't need to worry about what I'm doing! I would never hurt anyone in the RFA, they are so dear to my heart!
Ethel: I can see the Mint Eye flyers, don't try that with me. I have author powers. Put them away, I'm gonna call 119 for you, actually. You do need emergency mental health help, it's a medical thing and you should've been admitted years and years ago. You started a cult.
Zen: I mean, when you put it that way...
Rika: I would never do anything to harm Zen, though, I am such a fan of his!
Nico: Which meant so much to you when you let Saeran drug him into becoming part of Mint Eye, but hey, if you didn't do it yourself it didn't count, right?
Zen/Saeran
Nico: With things standing as they are in the main game, rather than this not working (which really has the same issue as Saeran/Yoosung; we don't really know enough about Saeran to make judgements), I just can't see this, happening? Like I can't really picture them getting together from what I do know about both of their personalities
Zen: I am sorry, Saeran did what?
Nico: ? Oh, you mean drug you into becoming part of Mint Eye? Yeah, a possible outcome of the main game
Saeran: ... I am part of Mint Eye during that, right?
Ethel: Drugged and brainwashed out of your mind, yes.
Nico: Also, as far as Zen and Saeran go, I can't really imagine Saeran would want to risk becoming a public figure even if his father is more or less taken care off, so that might be a dealbreaker right there
Ethel: Yeah, that would not be happening, for sure. Let's just move on, the logistics for this happening are not saying anything great about you guys' boning chances.
Saeran: Our wha-
Ethel: Moving on!
Jaehee/Jumin
Nico: Honestly even if Jaehee wasn't lesbian coded, any chance of this happening died the second Jumin hired Jaehee. The second.
Jaehee: I feel kind of sick from just the thought of having to deal with my job in my regular life.
Ethel: Yeah, exactly. Jaehee deserves so much better than Jumin, my goodness gracious. Even if Jumin somehow made a full 180 and let Jaehee leave, gave her a proper amount of money to start her own bakery with no expectation of getting anything back, apologised to her thoroughly for all that he's put her through and went into therapy, this would still honestly be kind of a really toxic relationship. Absolutely not. My poor Jaehee, you deserve a nice girl instead of this bloody moron.
Nico: ... You should probably say your two cents as well, Jumin. I mean, this is supposed to be a fic where the characters in question react to their ship as well
Jumin: I would prefer not having to deal with reminders of my job during my free time as well, so I am in agreement with Jaehee
Ethel: Oh my goodness, how is that your main issue? You're the reason this poor woman is on the verge of a mental breakdown, you absolute fucking walnut of a manchi-
Jaehee/Seven
Ethel: No, again, she is such a lesbian, honestly! They could work as friends though, Seven could help design technology that Jaehee could use at her bakery and I believe Jaehee could honestly kind of keep Seven in check. Poor Vanderwood wouldn't need to do that all by himself.
Seven: But Vanderwood is my lovely maid, she's paid to do that!
Ethel: He's really not, and he kind of deserves better than having to deal with your messes. Keep that up and I'm going to say Jaehee also deserves a whole lot better than whatever you could bring to the table instead of just saying she deserves better, darling.
Jaehee: I am so glad you aren't saying anything weird about a relationship with these people, honestly.
Ethel: Don't worry dearie, you deserve so much better than the people we have here as options. Let's go download Tinder for you and find you a nice girl, come on...
Nico: And on a friendship note, I think Seven does have a healthy respect for Jaehee on many levels -for her ethics, spirit and strength at the very least- and Jaehee does keep Seven's skills in high regard as well. And mutual respect is a pretty great building block for a friendship. And they do share a religion, which can be a bonding block depending on their individual relationships with said religion, and preferred ways of expressing it
Seven: lol, still can't believe we have that in common~
Jaehee: ... Me neither
Jaehee/V
Ethel: Okay so again, the issue is the very severe case of lesbianism that Jaehee absolutely has. There is no way she'd ever get together with V either! I'm honestly not even sure about friendship because V is so close with Jumin that Jaehee wouldn't likely really want to get all that close herself. They do, however, definitely have a high mutual respect for each other, especially V for Jaehee since she's the one that's kept Jumin alive and well for years now, and because she's extremely smart and organised and honestly, the RFA would not have survived for this long if it wasn't for her, I can promise you that.
Jaehee: You're so sweet, which is such a conflicting feeling with all we had to witness last time, gotta say.
Seven: She's also being way sweeter to you than the rest of us, which would lead me to believe she might also have a severe case of the lesbianism! Maybe you even have a crush on her~?
Ethel: Yeah, didn't I already make it clear that the lesbianism would be the case? I'm not really interested in her, though, I am in a perfectly nice and loving relationship myself, thank you very much. I might love Jaehee but honestly, she deserves better than the ADHD chaos I bring everywhere with me. We should still just stick with the Tinder, as I have said. Which reminds me, Jaehee, let's go make you a profile so we can get started...
Nico: And, you know, with our adult morals moraling and brains braining we are very much skip skipping the whole "which RFA character we could see ourselves with"-section of the previous part, so that is pretty much everything you are going the get about our preferences
Jaehee: T-truly?!
Nico: And that's a fucking promise
Seven: So I totally don't mean to play the devil's advocate, but-
Nico: No
Seven: Consider-
Ethel: No.
Seven: Okay b-
Nico: NO
Seven: But-!
Ethel: N O .
Seven: -!
Nico & Ethel: NO
Nico: And also in other news Jaehee and V could surprisingly bond over their mutual appreciation of Zen's finer qualities, since they both have understanding and appreciation of the arts he pursues
Jaehee/Rika
Ethel: Well, I mean, at least the high likelihood of lesbianism wouldn't be an issue, for once, but I still really feel like anything with Rika wouldn't quite work since someone needs intense, therapy and inpatient treatment and nothing would really even kind of work before that. On top of that, they don't seem to even particularly know each other, so it's a bit more difficult to consider what could possibly happen with their relationship. However, I think, if Rika were to get the help she desperately needs, they could be cute...? With a lot of work needed, for sure.
Nico: The advantage this possible relationship would have over the other ones is precisely that they don't know each other that well yet; there is no long history between them to make things all complex and hard to navigate following Rika's cult activities (like there would be between Rika and basically everyone else), meaning that if Rika were to get actually into a place where she can have a romantic relationship, they could start from a clean slate pretty easily
Rika: Clean slate...
Nico: Only comparatively! And since there still would be so much history, even if it isn't actually between you two, Jaehee especially might find it hard to approach you as anything other than a friend...
Jaehee: Not, an unfounded point. But we could get a cup of coffee, try to become friends?
Rika: I- think I would like that.
Jaehee/Saeran
Nico: With Saeran pretty much canonically confirming he finds Jaehee the most praise worthy among the RFA members, I think it's a safe bet to say they could build mutual respect among themselves. Like, most points that were said about Seven/Jaehee friendship stand here, except Saeran and Jaehee's likely more matching temperaments would likely lead to easier friendship
Jaehee: ...You really think so, Saeran?
Saeran: I- yes, I guess. I mean, my brother is- he's- well, you possess multiple qualities that I find praiseworthy, and I can empathize with your working conditions. And I get what it means to perform well under those conditions.
Jaehee: Oh. Well, from what I have come to understand of the working conditions you were subjected to at Mint Eye, it is easy for me to empathize with you too on that. And your work ethic is praise worthy as well, if nothing else.
Saeran: I- thank you. Really.
Nico: ...And it was a start of a beautiful friendship, filled with coffee and groans of exasperation at Seven's antics...
Ethel: Also, it would be such lesbian/gay solidarity.
Saeran: But I'm not-
Ethel: Don't worry, give it some time and therapy and I think you'll figure it out, I promise.
Nico: And she doesn't mean figure out you are gay necessarily, you know.
Ethel: Yeah, there's a whole vibe that's happening here, and I'm very rarely wrong. Ask Nico.
Saeran: ... That makes no sense.
Nico: Give it time
Jumin/Seven
Nico: They just, do not really operate on the same wave length. At all. But if they managed to figure it out, I would bet my chips that it would be funny. Kind of dumpster fire vibes
Seven: ... And how would kids be treated within this partnership?
Jumin: I do value Elizabeth the 3rd's safety above all else, so I will take the time to point out that this. Is. Never. Going. To. Happen.
Seven: Okay, but hear me out; I would make an amazing step cat-dad. I-!
Jumin: Cease and desist.
Jaehee: Just in case, I am not going to have your lawyers send Saeyoung a Cease and Desist letter over this, Mr. Han.
Ethel: Seven would be such a good step-cat-dad, though! I'm sure of that. Jumin would even get to do the whole weird dominating kind of thing because Seven clearly doesn't mind it, nor does he mind dressing up as a maid for fun. What kind of fun, who knows.
Seven: Master~ <3
Jumin: No, we're moving on.
Jumin/V
Nico: Ah, the childhood friend romance. It's a classic for a reason. Though, surprisingly enough, I don't really see it with these do?
Jumin: You don't?
Nico: I guess it's because both you and V put such high value on your friendship it's kind of like, there is nothing for you two to gain by adding romantic components into the relationship? Like you get the emotional closeness and intensity of, frankly, most romantic relationships. And another point; both Jumin and V have such demanding schedules, if for drastically different reasons, that their romantic relationship might start resembling a long distance one even if they were living together? Which, neither of them is really the kind of person to change their jobs enough to make a difference on that front, would want the other one to make the sacrifice, or want that in a long term romantic entanglement.
Ethel: I mean, yeah, that's fair, though considering they're also just not in any relationships a lot of the time since someone turned out to be quite abusive and another someone really shouldn't be with her, I think they could make it work without all that many sacrifices. They'd be really cute, too, and V could definitely keep Jumin in check and he wouldn't take all of Jumin's bullshit just like that. That's like, so important for any potential relationship Jumin ever gets into, they need to be able to knock him down a peg or twenty if necessary, but to also know when it's necessary.
Jumin: I am taking offense to that.
Ethel: You should, because "when it's necessary" definitely means "most of the time" for me.
Nico: Or you shouldn't, because taking offence to criticism, while understandable, isn't the effective and rational choice? What I mean is, instead you could take a good hard look at yourself and think "what is it about me that is earning all this criticism"
Jumin: And take the words of the two people who did all of that back then to us?
Nico: Okay, fair, but consider; just because we were stupid little idiots back then doesn't mean we aren't right about you now?
V: There is something to be said about accepting good advice even when the source is unlikely, Jumin
Jumin: That's true too, I suppose. Well, as far as the ship goes, I do stand in agreement with Nico; I value my friendship with V very highly, and don't feel it necessary to change it one way or another. Our relationship is at a perfect stage as far as I'm concerned
V: Yes, we were meant to say our two bits, weren't we... In which case I do see Ethel's point about the good potential of us getting together. It is true in any case that most often the most important factors to make a romantic relationship work are the same that make a platonic one work, which we have in spades
Jumin/Rika
Nico: The- complex circumstances around these two make me believe it's next to impossible for a romantic relationship to occur between these two anywhere around the main story time. And I think they would both benefit the most from forming a new, better friendship (if they are both willing to put in the effort to actually change for the better that is). But, like with V, Rika does have some qualities that would make her well suited for Jumin, and vice versa. They are both, for example, pretty strong willed in their own ways which would make them less likely to go along with each other's bullshit
Ethel: Yeah, like, they would kind of fit each other. The issue is more that with the shared history and the fact Jumin values his friendship with V a lot, I kind of doubt he'd ever actually get together with Rika since that would likely feel at least a little disrespectful, even if V, the mostly smart and nice person he is, were to give them his blessing. In another timeline where V and Rika didn't start by dating, though, I think they could make it work, though again, I'm not sure about letting Rika in relationships after she had quite the abusive one with V, like, go work on yourself and go admit yourself into some psych ward at this point, chop chop girl.
Rika: Excuse you, I don't think I need the psych ward, that is quite far-
Ethel: Again, started a cult. Need I remind you?
Rika: ...I suppose.
Nico: Although that does bring us to an interesting question; how much did V contribute to Rika's eventual cult habits? Not willingly, of course, but just by the sheer value of happening to be her boyfriend. I mean, if Rika hadn't started dating V and had started dating Jumin for example, there is a chance she never would have founded Mint Eye because of the changes something like that would undoubtedly cause down the timeline. Like, if Rika had never met either of them, would she still have founded the cult? Or if she had happened to meet them a little earlier or later? I guess my point is that in a timeline where Rika and Jumin were the ones to start dating, maybe Rika never founded the cult (though there is also an equal chance of her still doing so, and a chance of something different but equally horrible happening)
Jumin/Saeran
Ethel: I feel like, really weird about this. I really don't think these two would be good for each other at all, for multiple reasons. Saeran needs the emotional support even while he's getting therapy, which he should get, and Jumin's emotional intelligence is... well, it's not particularly high!
Jumin: Excuse me?
Ethel: You're- well, you're not actually excused, I think you need therapy with all your daddy and mommy issues and the emotional stuntedness that you have. Honestly like, all of you need therapy. Goodness gracious. But also, I just really don't think that Saeran could quite match Jumin's needs either. Sure, he's like a genius and everything, but he's not necessarily business savvy, and I think Jumin would need someone like that. Oh, and he's affiliated with Saeyoung who wants to spend time with Elly that-
Jumin: Elizabeth the 3rd.
Ethel: Elly the 3rd, that Jumin would be likely very uncomfortable with the association. So. I don't think these two would quite do it.
Nico: You know, this is the first pairing where any remarkable friendship doesn't seem that likely either? Like yeah, maybe they end up being platonic match made in Heaven that no one saw coming but it's just, the odds of that happening don't seem that high. Although I would like to read the fic where they bond over their mutually kind of dry sense of humor and calm personalities. You know, the one where Zen almost chokes on beer because of the sheer shock of Jumin actually vibing with someone, Jaehee cries in joy once the friendship makes Jumin less inclined to start cat businesses, Yoosung is happy for him, and Seven cries in despair because his own brother shares Jumin's sense of humor. Actually you know what-
Seven/V
Nico: Honestly with Seven seeing V as something along the lines of paternal figure, this is just the kind of incest passing relationship we are not going to discuss further
Seven/Rika
Ethel: Also close enough (especially with the parallels we could make between Rika's abuse and his biological mother's abuse)
Seven/Saeran
NO
V/Rika
Nico: Okay, so. Like. No. Just no.
Rika: But we are already together!
Nico: In a deeply dysfunctional relationship that led you into starting a cult and blinding V!
V: It wasn't all bad...
Nico: Of course it wasn't, that's how they get you! Although I will say in both of your defense that you did give it an honest effort and it is monumentally bad luck that V's need to love someone unconditionally born of his family issues meshed so spectacularly badly with Rika's desperate need to be loved unconditionally born of her family issues. But that doesn't erase the fact that your relationship left you both worse off in too many ways, that the healthiest choice for you two is to definitely take some space, and that the safest choice in this case is for you two to never get romantically together again. I mean, that said you could benefit from couples therapy even if you aren't a couple anymore
Ethel: Also like, blinding someone is absolutely "that bad" even if not everything was horrible at all times, my goodness gracious V. You need therapy and someone to show you what a functional relationship actually looks like. Like, that was definitely an abusive relationship that should've never happened, guys. Therapy. Theeeeraaaaapyyyyyy.
~Therapy~
V/Saeran
Nico: Saeran doesn't necessarily see V as a paternal figure in the same way Seven does, but I think there is a bit too big of a case for it
Ethel: There's too much of "technical" here, I cannot support it. When it gets to even this much "technical", you're just too close.
Rika/Saeran
Nico: And even if Rika hadn't raised Saeran from his teen years up, there is just no way any of us would recommend any kind of a romantic relationship between an abuser and their victim, especially when part of the abuse included straight up torture and brainwashing
Ethel: Yeah, no. Drugging a teenager, too, on top of all that? Absolutely not. Like, I feel like I should call the police on Rika too, honestly, because what the fuck.
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